marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
