I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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