i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
