I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
