sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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