I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
