Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
