He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
