Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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