God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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