You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
