We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
