Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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