a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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