but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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