Screwed.edu
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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