I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
