I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
