She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The air was thick with penises
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
