using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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