My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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