they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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