Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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