Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
