i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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