On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize