just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
tell me about the eggs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
