I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You've changed since you got that strap on
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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