Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
