my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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