I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so explain again why im purple
no
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
