im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
