dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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