How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
