Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
