do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
