how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
