I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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