I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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