You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
