Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
