it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
