Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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