3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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