Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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