You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
