I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't turn off my feet"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
