So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
