I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
