We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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