Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
