bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
