you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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