your parents love me but you hate me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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