she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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